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Breasts mattered as much in those troubled times, so visible, their curves a little less pert by then and maybe that’s why she was tempted, but seeing them every day was enough to remind me what I was losing.It tore me apart when she told me, I could barely walk in a straight line for a week and lost a stone in a month. There are no words for that pain; why would anyone invent a way of describing something that would be so dreadful to read. It does diminish, but it stays there, dormant waiting to be nudged back into consciousness, forced to the surface by some trigger, often unintended, sometimes risked for a reason, like writing thisHow he did it I don’t know, but he took her; took her for a few years until she saw through his selfish possessiveness, and by then I was left with the kids and an empty bed. Bringing up children without breasts is hard, especially when they are small. The comfort one person can give is so much less than two; one lap, one smile, one voice and no. Might have been drugs. I was oblivious to my surroundings most of the time.Harmony visited me every day—the high point of my dispensary stay."Hey, boyfriend," Harmony said as she held my hand and stroked my face."Hey, girlfriend," I parroted. "Thanks for visiting me."Harmony talked. Often she'd ask a question and I didn't have an answer. Yes, I was still pretty much a blank page. I guess that was my primary attraction as the boyfriend of an exclusively homosexual woman—I would be what she wrote on my blank page.The Giovannis visited me several times a day. Nurse Yardley had designated "medical orderlies," other cadets charged to help manage the dispensary. Commandant Mackie made it a point to drop in once a day, as did the drill instructor assigned to my class, Sergeant Saunders. I even had several visits from my squad. I can't complain that I was tossed in a locker and left alone.The hard neck brace was replaced by a soft neck brace during the first week of September. The rest of my.
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